I can't focus these days. Besides it being hot and the excruciating cramps from a very late period (do to exercising so much-too much info? Get over it lmao) I should be able to focus now that I am in a library with AC and no distractions. Sigh... It started when I started watching a show on Netflix that was suppose to kill time not make me feel this way. I feel so angry and sad. I know the show is fake of course but the love situation has reminded me of my biggest issue with men and why I pull away from dating. I am tired of being so easy to let go. D didn't fight for me and Zachary didn't either. Even after I told Zachary how much it hurt not to being fought for after 3 years of dating D and Zachary did what he did. Zachary didn't fight for me either. After he said he would never give up on me and us. But he did and in a horrible & messy way at that.
My thing is I was so important to these men but when it came time to show it and FIGHT. They ran scared or sat there looking stupid.
Am I being harsh? Because of course I don't think so.
If you are not willing to fight for your other half after you have committed and vowed your love to him or her then you don't really love them as much as you claim. I mean think about it if you are not ready to lose what you value most or go through the hard times or help your other half face their problems then what are you doing telling them you love them?? Especially if they are pushing you away when they are going through a crisis, what are you doing letting them push you away?? They are in pain and have to cause pain to avoid feeling their own. Trust me... I know...
I am a new person. Finding God has helped me recognize when I push people away, when I need to ask for help and face issues with the proper guidance. Thanks to the Lord and this guidance I am facing issues and recognizing when I am in the wrong. As well as learn how to forgive these men.
I have forgiven them but the fact is it happened and sometimes we have to let time reveal what the actions and pain from others did to us.
Think about yourself. Who have you let go? I have let go of a guy easily and didn't think twice about it. We all have even if the person was a friend or family member. We just gave up on them too easily. Why do we do this? Why do we say we love someone but not fight for them? Why!? Well we should focus on fighting for each other! Being each others strength during the hard times! Helping each other being a better person!
That is what we should and need to be doing instead of the opposite... We need to fight.
P.S. I still holding on to that kiss (read prior post on my blog)
Comments
Post a Comment