I have never really had a New Years kiss. This really just dawned on me this recent New Year. For those that I know, that are like me or at least for the last few years have been like me are really depressed about it. I am not talking about that girl you just picked up at a bar or that man you were kind of just put with because everyone else is a couple. I mean a New Years kiss with someone you are in love with. I know, I know here Paulina go with her mushy shit.... Right? But Seriously something speaks to me about actually being in love and starting a fresh year with someone. It really is something I am fascinated with and at the same time something I desire.
The Reason
From what I can remember I have either been single or not been able to be with my boyfriend at that time. How odd isn't it? Why is this? Well for starters because no money and that has never really meant much to me but to my ex's money seems to make them feel less of a man. I have always dated high strong men who are highly intelligent and will be something great in their future as long as they believe in themselves. But that is just the thing, most of my ex's are insecure... Don't get me wrong or misinterpret what I just said because we are all insecure about something. If you say you are not... Then you are only scared for someone to find out what that insecurity is. But back to this no REAL New Years kiss thing.
The Real Reason?
Are we intentionally not starting the year with someone new or someone we are in love with? Why else are we single or not physically with someone we love or with? To me when I talk about it to others, it seems to be a feeling the pressure type of thing. For some reason the New Year brings pressure to us all. I believe this causes pressure on us in our relationship. For example, feeling like their should be a change as big as living together , marriage or kids... etc.. This really does affect people... I know for myself New Years makes me look at the year and analyze it.. asking myself "Did I really have a productive year?" I especially think of the people I came across in that year...which isn't really always pleasant thinking but it has been getting better over the years.
I think it is one of those things that we have to overcome naturally. I believe the pressure will always be there because it's just something we do to ourselves is worry about the success of the past year and worry about succeeding more in the New Year. Forcing anything to be "perfect" wouldn't be "perfect"... its like how you can't force love. Also, we should be concerned about what we did in the past year and try to better ourselves in the New Year because there is always room for improvement.
Since I have realized this about myself I have decided to try and actually keep in mind that I want this year to better than the last. Also want to save my New Years kiss for someone who I have strong feelings about. Someone who is worth my New Year. When I kiss this guy I want to know that I am worth his New Year as well. This I think will be interesting and good for me. I have always valued a first kiss with a guy I loved but this is new. Considering all that I have gone through and the last few relationships I have been in.. makes me think that I need to do something to help me single out that guy who really is meant for me. If I can't find him to be worth my News Years kiss then I won't be wasting my time any further. I think this is a genius plan because I will have to really think about it. I probably won't count if someone kisses me out the blue but if I kiss them back that is another story.
How would you do this? How will you change your situation? Your fears, anxieties or pressured moments...
How can we overcome this?
I think it is one of those things that we have to overcome naturally. I believe the pressure will always be there because it's just something we do to ourselves is worry about the success of the past year and worry about succeeding more in the New Year. Forcing anything to be "perfect" wouldn't be "perfect"... its like how you can't force love. Also, we should be concerned about what we did in the past year and try to better ourselves in the New Year because there is always room for improvement.
What I am going to try and do!
Since I have realized this about myself I have decided to try and actually keep in mind that I want this year to better than the last. Also want to save my New Years kiss for someone who I have strong feelings about. Someone who is worth my New Year. When I kiss this guy I want to know that I am worth his New Year as well. This I think will be interesting and good for me. I have always valued a first kiss with a guy I loved but this is new. Considering all that I have gone through and the last few relationships I have been in.. makes me think that I need to do something to help me single out that guy who really is meant for me. If I can't find him to be worth my News Years kiss then I won't be wasting my time any further. I think this is a genius plan because I will have to really think about it. I probably won't count if someone kisses me out the blue but if I kiss them back that is another story.
How would you do this? How will you change your situation? Your fears, anxieties or pressured moments...
I want a kiss that will last forever. -Paulina
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