The Little Things...

Hey Ladies and Gents!! How are you!! I missed you all! To be honest I have been kind of in a rut about my blog as many of you know I have been saved. I believe Jesus is my Lord and savoir. Therefore I don't know where I stand with this blog because I still want to write my sex stories but I feel guilty in a sense because its almost like porn... I don't know, COMMENT below and tell me your thoughts about that.

I am here today because I have this desire to "talk" with you about the little things. I have a husband named Daniel and he loves me. Like all relationships he and I have been finding out how we like and do things in this relationship. We have been learning about each other and what exactly our Love Language is. (Yes we got that from the book Love Languages)

I needed dish washing soap because we were getting low and he had forgot that he said he was going to buy it and when I reminded him he was bothered by it because he didn't remember no such conversation so I thought I would have to figure out a way to buy it myself just to avoid any discussion because if you are in a serious relationship you have to learn to pick your battles. It was no big deal at the end of the day. Well when he came home we were talking about our day and what not and he said "Oh yeah, here." I opened the bag and it was soap! and moments before like I said I was thinking about it because I was washing dishes and I thought to myself well if he don't get it maybe I can borrow a few dollars. I was so happy and turned on! He listened and was cheerful about it. There was no resentment, anger, or forced happiness. I enjoyed this so much. That it is hard to explain because it may just seem like "uh he just bought you soap, calm down." But to me I like to be heard and feel that I am being heard, which means I like words and action. I need both to feel loved. Daniel and I learned this about myself just recently because we took the time to talk after our arguments and figure US out. 

Something else Daniel loves to do is take pictures with me and of me. I find this cute and a form of affection because I love pictures. In past relationships I have been the one to take pictures of me and the guy. Sometimes it was an issue because I felt like they were being forced because they didn't want to take pictures but they did it for me or to avoid argument. Eventually I just didn't take many photo's of us unless it was a nice little occasion just not because... With Daniel he catches me in moments that I didn't realize how much I was smiling, how much I was happy or even how good I looked in an outfit (LOL) because I can't take a nice body pic of myself like someone else can. I even posed for some of the photos but still forgot about them. Sometimes he post them on facebook and talks about the moment and me. This is a form or affection these days and I very much enjoy it. I recently got an app that prints photos for free when you first join them (App: FreePrints -use this code-> agarcia581)  I printed out pictures of mostly us and he saw and already decided he was going to download the app when I mention it. His order comes in and prints out pictures of mostly me lol he so amazing! and this is when I found a new reason to love him because we can always love someone. Then when they do something amazing -no matter how small as long as it is important to you- you find a new thing to love about them...

Our first day together after ten years...

At the dog park 

Thanksgiving

Out and about...

Daniel and I dated when I was 13-14 years old for over a year. He went to jail for about 10 years and I wrote him that whole time. It was rough because for one I was young and in love... but then I had people in my ear tell me he is not going to love you and treat you the way he is saying in those letters blah blahhh...Yes Daniel was a thug and didn't always do the right thing but he treated me good. We were helping each other change because I was no angel either. I became "the one" for him because before then he was a "hooooOOooooee" as he says. Daniel found Jesus in prison and would tell me how much God loves me and tell me about his promises but I never really listened to them. I have always believed in God and so I respected what he told me in letters but I never really believed. I broke it off because I was not going to be one of those females that lied to their man in prison because he didn't know any better. Nope I have always been honest about everything. I told him I don't know what could happen in ten years and I can't make a promise like waiting for him. I did promise I would write him and never let anyone get in the way of that and I didn't. He is my bestfriend and I am his, we helped each other as best as we could through letters. Then I was saved two years ago and it was so overwhelming I cried and cried because I had just cut things off with a good guy and I felt guilty. I realized I pushed guys away and realized a lot about myself. Then I dated another guy who was trying to count on my habit of pushing guys away because he was cheating on me, therefore hoped I would break up with him through my stressful time. Instead I tried working it out with him even though I knew he was cheating and waited for him to tell me. He believes in God as much as he believes in the easter bunny and claims my faith scared him. 

Why talk about my ex? One, because my past relationships have made me a better person for my man now. Two, because I am open to talk about many things and I feel this information is important to explain what I found out about myself when I found God. As well as what I put up with because I was trying to forgive and work things out like God would want. However, what I know now is God doesn't want you to be around or with someone who doesn't help you grow in your relationship with yourself and Him. The only time I bettered myself with this ex was when I forgave him but didn't keep him in my life (he was a best friend for 9ish years). I pray that he has changed and he really does find his way. As well as finds Jesus because the only one that can truly help us is Jesus.

How does this relate to Daniel? Well, we are all a little jaded and either do or don't do things because of ex's. It can be a good thing or a bad thing, however, you want to make sure it doesn't hinder your future relationships or make sure it's not the reason why you lack in the love department. (Meaning don't swear off men - yes take a break- but don't avoid men or a man trying to pursue you).

I love Daniel and if it were not for the past relationships I was in then I wouldn't have found out about myself. I wouldn't have grown the patience that is needed to learn about your spouse and grow WITH your spouse. My future is Daniel. These little things he has done, mean so much to me and I love that about him.

The enemy is responsible for the pain but God turns it around to something useful. He has turned the pain caused from exs and even FRIENDS to a useful tools towards my relationships with friends and Daniel.
1) I appreciate the little things
2) I talk things out
3) I realize I am not perfect and try to work on compromising
4) I committed to learning about Daniel and be patient for things he doesn't know about himself yet, as he has for me.

You can never stop learning about anything especially when it comes to GOD and your Spouse, Family, and Friends!

I don't know if this post makes any sense but my point is enjoy the little things and let that person know you appreciate them. Work beyond what you see others do and be open to what others say on how you make them feel. Whether good or bad.

--Paulina